Margo

Lately, my emotions have been getting the best of me. First, I let my parents and Nicole get inside my head and then I decided to have a rebound.

Let me explain...
First, I was telling Nicole how good it felt to get another compliment from a guy. She said that I should leave Chase because I wasn't happy. I mean its true, i'm not happy But I could of still figured out how to work it out with Chase and be happy. My fault is that I listened to Nicole and I ended up breaking it off with Chase. I went through an emotional rollercoaster and a mental breakdown to where I couldn't think straight at all. I didn't know what to do. So I decided to call up kenny tell him that I would like for him to come visit because I missed him and I kinda needed his support. So he bought a ticket and flew all the way down here to Ashville. He arrived here on Friday night. while he was staying here we kissed and talked about what could of been and what we thought would be. But as the days went by, I started to realize how much I started to think of Chase and how I wanted him near more than anything. Once I started getting sick on Sunday, it hit hard becasue the one person that took care of me was Chase not kenny.

I feel like i've taken advantage of Chase. I don't give him credit for everything he has done. I want to work it out with the man that I've been with for 4 years. Kenny played the part of rebound. He thinks that him and I are something now. I'm scared and I really dont know how to get out of this situation without hurting someone. Chase is going to simply be hurt because I kissed another man. But kenny is going to be hurt by the realization of being a rebound and nothing more. He thinks that we are going to be together and thats not what I want.
I am the bad person here. All I want to do is crawl into a ball and die. But you might as well feel what your feeling and make up for it wrather than bunching it up into a ball and rolling it underneath the bed. Because sooner or later it will bite you on the ass.
I really want chase and I to work. But if he doesn't want it to work out after reading this post then I will completely understand.
I just hope he forgives me and opens his eyes to see just how much I do love him.